Decisions…Decisions.

I am probably the most wish-washy person I know. I go back and forth on everything, I can never fully decide on something on fear that I will miss out on something better. I know I can’t possibly be the only one out there who is like this. I am always secretly afraid that if I commit to something now, I might miss out later on in life. This quality becomes a real set back in picking a major, or deciding a path to take. And I know that most students who are just starting college or even just finishing, are feeling the pressures of “what am I going to do with my life.” Or even more specifically, what is God calling me to do with my life? How can you know for sure that the path you are on is the “right” one for you and the passions on your heart?

In the past three months of my life, I have probably jumped around to a million different life paths. I have jumped into the idea of being an elementary school teacher, go into fulltime ministry, become a pastor, go to law school, or work in homes for battered women. My heart pulls me in all different directions and I can see myself doing so many different things! I have so many passions that are sincerely on my heart, things that I so genuinely wish to pursue but one trumps them all and that is my passion for Jesus. I have a passion for Christ that burns brighter than my passions for all these other things. And guys, that is how you can figure out the answer to all those questions. I’ll explain.

Being a follower of Jesus is so much more than “being a good person”, reading the bible, and honestly just hoping for the best. OH, MY GOODNESS, Jesus just wants you to love Him. He wants you to be so radically in love with Him that you just naturally reflect Him in all that you are and say and do. I found this beautiful passage that I totally believe God was speaking to me yesterday that says, “I have good intentions for you. They may be radically different from what you hoped or expected but they are nonetheless good. I am light; in me there is no darkness at all. So, look for my light in all your circumstances. I am abundantly present in your moments. Your assignment is to be open to Me and My ways with you. Sometimes this requires relinquishing things you had planned or dreamed. You need to remember and wholeheartedly believe that My way is perfect, no matter how hard it may seem.” And I think this is so true, most especially for college students. Our plans are nowhere near as amazing and perfect as God’s. We have to trust that what He places on our heart is the best for us. And deciphering what on our heart is from the Lord is the challenge we do not realize we have already accomplished. The person you are when you love Jesus with everything in you- your heart, soul, mind, body and strength- is the real you. The brilliant you. The breathtaking you. The person you were born to be crawls out of the shell of a heart cracked wide open to the audacious love of Christ. When your heart is engaged in a wholly invasive holy affection, march yourself over to the nearest mirror and take a long hard look because that. Is . you. And what that person in the mirror in that condition of teeming affection most wants to do is most likely that persons calling or the carrier of that direction. Does that person in that mirror want to help the homeless, teach 3rd graders, write music, became a doctor, go to seminary, work with preteen girls, tutor underprivileged kids, work in law enforcement, fight human trafficking, run a corporation, do medical missions, be a network news anchor? When the blood in your veins runs hot with holy affection for the living Christ, what do you want to do most? Paul put it this way: Christ’s love compels us. When Christ’s love invades every cell in your body, what are you compelled to do? The follow up question is critical. The answer to it is where the rubber meets the road, where dreams become realities and destinies that defy gravity finally get fulfilled. This is it: what would it take to do it? Don’t tell me you are too young. Don’t tell me you are too old. Don’t tell me you are too busy. Don’t tell me it could never work out. Just get to it. Nobody but you can do it. A love for Christ, a trust in His plans above our own, that is the combination that will reveal the path you are meant to take in life.

And when you are at this beautiful point of completeness in Christ, when you can know in your heart and mind that THIS is what you are called to pursue, write it down. At least, that is what I do and it helps to go back and reread what was on your heart at the moment of burning passion. This is a snippet of what I wrote to myself just over a month ago.

“You want to go into ministry Ione. That is where God is calling you. It may not feel like it, it may be hard, it may feel like this will amount to nothing but push through. Opportunities are going to open for you and ministry is where you want to be. You love the Lord, He is the most important part of your life and your biggest passion is making a difference in people’s lives, helping people who can’t help themselves. Well, only Jesus can do that. You can be the bridge that connects the two together. Remember why you are here on this earth. Remember your mission. You are passionate about helping people. You have a story that impacts lives. There are so many youth’s out there, who have struggled with depression, suicide, bullying, disorders, and all forms of abuse and YOU can relate to them. YOU know who saves and brings freedom and that is a truth you can speak into their lives. You can help nudge these people in the right direction. Think about all those people out there suffering and YOU are the one with the answer to their healing. You are called into ministry and you know it. Don’t second guess yourself. Satan is going to do everything he can to throw you off and you need to call him out when he does. Jesus is more powerful! Don’t let him get into your head. Stay on the path God has placed in front of you.”

Cheesy, I know, but sometimes I just need this reminder. And as I have moved here to Mount Hermon, it is more and more confirmed that God has called me into a life of ministry. If we surrender our plans, and ask Jesus to align our will with His, He will come through. “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” And how sweet and painless the process becomes when you and the Lord share the same desires! (Though this is pretty much never the case.) But it can be, when you relinquish the control and just let the love you have for Christ direct your life. So do not fret, my friends, if you are unsure of where to go in your life. God will reveal this to you when you can open your heart to a radical love for Christ.

 

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