This comes straight from the core of my being. I honestly cannot recall writing this but I figured this might be something worth sharing. Someone somewhere might need to read this today and I pray it finds you.
“The Lord protects the simplehearted; when I was in great need, He saved me.” Psalm 116:6
This is so beautiful because it is so true to my life. Simplehearted means honest, open, straightforward. That is someone that I am and my whole life I have been in great need and it is true, God saved me. He has saved me once and then multiple times. He has been there through the most horrid of events, He watched as I struggled and suffered, He watched as I strayed and hungered, just hoping, wishing, and waiting for me to finally turn my face upward and my heart inward. And when I did, He welcomed me into His arms, back home, for good this time. He knows me better than I know myself, better than anyone will know me, and He has the plan. He sees my life, in whole, because He exists outside of time, outside of our finite human minds. He can’t just tell me, He can’t just control my life, because that would go against His character, His allowance of our free will. But oh, how I wish He could. How my soul longs to be freed of the painful confines of our world and this life I am subjected to. I want my heavenly father to take the reins of this horse I have been placed upon so I can stop being bounced around and kicked off. How difficult it must be for Him, to have so much abundance of love and grace at the ready to be poured out and to be constantly rejected by those He sacrificed so much for. “Imagine it: Christ, there in the heavens in the company of His Father, surrounded by angels of unfathomable grandeur and the time comes for Him to go. The apex of the plan of redemption set in motion before the foundation of the world was next on the docket. What would it have been like to be God and agree to become man? To be the infinite Creator and confine yourself to skin? For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily. You would not be agreeing to take on the flesh of a grown man like the first one you’d formed with your own hands. You’d be the Son of God and fully God consenting to become a microscopic embryo in a young woman’s womb. The whole thing is incomprehensible. According to scripture, even the angels could not wrap their minds around the plan for the salvation of man.” And that is not even the worst of it, that is not even the biggest of the sacrifices. He came here, lived here, walked among the earth, not boasting of who He was and never tapping into the power He held in a way of showing off and proving. He walked humbly, with no intentions but to love, heal, and bless, yet what did we do? Beat him, spit on him, tortured him, and nailed him up on some wood to die a slow and excruciatingly painful death. And amidst all this, we yelled at Him, called Him names, told the world that He was a liar and a freak. And we believed it. Or we believed something. We wanted to believe, we wanted to run to our savior, we wanted to rejoice in the coming of our Lord but something got in the way. Something held us back, something turned our hearts so callous to the idea that God would love us so much to come to earth that we could not do anything but refuse it, reject it, and post it up on a tree for the rest to see that we cannot believe. But yet, He loved us. More than any other human heart could bear to hold for another. Up until His very final breath, He had a genuine, audacious love for us. As we did all we possibly could to hurt this man, He loved us still. And still. We reject Him, we doubt Him, we hide Him away from those around us, we are ashamed. We use His name as a slang word, we make jokes of His crucifixion, we say we love Him without knowing the first thing about it. We post pictures with scriptures, we carry our bibles with us but never read them, we raise our hands in the air with no comprehension of how weighty our praises are to the ears of a God who is so used to ridicule. We pray as a conversation with no reverence for the presence of the mightiest Creator of our universe, with no idea the power of this opportunity to be in direct communication with the one who holds our lives in His hands. But He loves us still. He puts up with it all and loves us still. He puts up with it all and still extends His grace and mercy. He puts up with it all and still accepts us no matter how far we stray. He puts up with it all and still forgives when we ask, for the thousandth time. And we could never beat Him in the arena of love. He will always be farther ahead, even before the competition starts. “Every time you are driven to pursue Him, its because He is pursuing you. Every time you have something to say to Him, it’s because He’s saying something to you. Every time you choose Him, He has already chosen you. Any time you get up before dawn and head into your den to pray, He is already there waiting for you. You never have a single thought about Him that catches His mind wandering away from you. You cannot beat Jesus to the punch. You cannot beat Jesus to the passion.” And what did we do to deserve this? What could it possibly be about us that makes it all worth it? Absolutely nothing, and that is the intense beauty behind the whole scandal of grace. We have done nothing, can do nothing, to ever earn this amount of ridiculous love Christ shows us, offer us, gives us. But yet He protects me, the simplehearted, and when I am in need, He saves me, again.