I picked up this book and to be honest, I was not expecting much from it. It seemed like one of those books that was just an easy read, kind of like the “chick flick” for literature. I randomly selected it from my moms bookshelf, and thought I would just get it done in a few days but it ended up ruining my life.
I was already becoming overly aware of my lack of confidence, and this book ended up highlighting a lot of insecurities I have definitely been dealing with, but never actually acknowledged. It was refreshing to finally grasp in words what exactly was going on in my heart, mind, and spirit. This book focuses on a topic we all deal with at some point in our lives but never give much thought to how it truly affects us: rejection.
“…to sum up rejection […]: I don’t want my normal to be snatched away…it’s like a photograph containing all the people you love and suddenly some of those people purposefully cut themselves out of the picture. And the gaping hole left behind is in some ways worse than death. If their absence was caused by death, you would grieve their loss. But when their absence is caused by rejection, you not only grieve their loss, but you also wrestle through the fact that they wanted this. They chose to cut themselves out. Though you are devastated, they are possibly walking away feeling relieved. Or worse, they might even be happy. And there you sit, staring at a jacked-up photograph that no glue in the world can fix. Normal has been taken. Not by accident. But very much on purpose by someone you never expected could be such a thief” (Terkeurst).
Many of you probably had particular situations or people pop in your mind after reading that; I did as well. And this statement started to snowball in my mind as I thought over the course of my life. It came to me that these rejections in my own story have gone unnoticed and popped up as insecurities in the recent months. I’m so afraid of people; what they will say or think about me, what they will do to me. In my own experience, I have dealt with rejection of the kind stated above but the unfortunate majority of my rejection has even gone as far as to inflict pain on me; physical or verbal. But another point Lysa stated, made me realize that I have started to place rejections on myself that weren’t even there to begin with when she says, “[this] has really gotten me thinking about all the man times I assign thoughts to others that they never actually think. I hold them accountable to harsh judgements they never make. And I own a rejection rom them they never gave me.” My fiancé ALWAYS (no exaggeration) points this out. He sees so clearly what I can’t; that I am a projector. I place my own insecurities and fears on other people and use it as excuses to not do something, to close myself up, or simply hide in my room. It felt nice to hear this book bring it up in words that explain it much better than I ever could.
Of course, this book does not just pull up old wounds with no resolution or comforting message of hope and healing. That actually IS the message of this book; that there IS healing. “So instead of running from the pain, we embrace it as necessary. We must feel the pain to heal the pain. If we never allow ourselves to feel it, we won’t acknowledge it is there…We must invite God into our pain to help us survive the desperate in-between.” For me, that is what this book taught me. It opened my eyes to areas of my life I would have rather left alone, but God used these words to stir something in my heart that has allowed me to start on this new journey of healing. I feel better equipped, more prepared, and more able to deal with the open wounds because I have full access to the Healer.
Overall, it is a great read. No matter who you are, where you come from, or what your story is, I firmly believe you will be able to relate to this book and find a beautiful takeaway. And for those who have a story similar to my own, it is most definitely a must read! I’ll end with this wonderful prayer taken from page 186 that reads,
“’Because he loves me,’ says the Lord, ‘I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.’”
Oh, Lord, I do acknowledge Your name. You are my savior, my Lord, my leader, my love, my Maker, my friend, my God, my light, my truth, my salvation. Instantly when I call on Your name, Your power I infused into an situation I face. I believe You will rescue me, protect me, answer me, be with me, deliver me, and honor me with a satisfying life. It’s almost too much for me to take in all these promises. I don’t deserve all this, but I will receive them as the gifts they are. I love you, Lord. I reserve the sacred parts of my heart for You alone. I place You above all, in all, around all, and trust You with all. I will not let this heartbreak steal one more moment of my full attention being on You…When fear tries to steal my focus, I will worship Your holiness and elevate my perspective with Your promises. Yes, you are with me always and forever. I may be rejected by man, but I am forever cherished and accepted by the Most High God. Amen.”
NOTE: To read more about how this played into my personal life, check out my latest post on the Life & Faith page “Exposed.”